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English Slang for Tourists
I watched the British version of 'Big Brother' recently. That's
the television show which is a human hamster cage. Viewers go
'ooh' and 'aah' over the one they like or dislike, and vote to
decide who leaves the house. In the interim, the contestants do
tricks for the amusement of the public. The last man in gets
£100,000. The production company makes millions. All
contestants lose any shred of dignity and anonymity.
The 2005 version had an Essex boy and Essex girl on it; modern
cockneys. Their speech was replete with annoying, redundant
phrases; verbal filler, if you like. This 'got on my tits'
(nerves) so much I decided to compile a list of these phrases.
Now any visitor to London and surrounding areas can understand
the natives.
- Respect: Very much in demand by those least deserving of it;
street hoodlums, wide boys, geezers, Z-list celebrities, and
rap acts from Chipping Sodbury.
- Aow Roight?: Hello, is all well (between us)?
- Right?: Interrogative used to punctuate sentences. A trick to
ensure your audience is listening, to what is probably banal
e.g. "I went inna caff on the high road, right? and this geeza
looks at me funny, right?, an' I wasn' doin nuffin', right? and
so I says to 'im, I says ...
- Cheers: Thank you. Derived from the drinkers' salute.
- At the end of the day: Meaning 'when all is said and done'. A
cliché. Emphasises what comes after, which is also banal e.g.
"At the end of the day, you've got to look after yourself, know
woh a mean?"
- Know what I mean?: Emphasises what comes before it, also
usually banal. A verbal trick, to get the listener's attention.
Used by those who aren't sure they're expressing themselves
clearly. Which is most of the time.
- Seriously: Another 'emphasiser'. Means 'I am serious about
the following' e.g. "Seriously, I am well pissed of with you,
Craig". Or as a question: "My mate (friend) Sandra's had a boob
job (breast enhancement)". To which one replies: "Seriously?".
- To be honest with ya: Meaning, I'm not usually. I am, rather,
being earnest. An overused phrase. What follows it is not
guaranteed to be sincerely meant, or trustworthy.
- Which is good: A hint on one-upmanship, and disingenuous.
e.g. "I won a grand on a scratchcard yesterday. Which is good".
- Scary: Might frighten a two year old. Used by women or gays
to convey faux distress. A bad hairdo can be 'scary'. A spider
making a sudden dash for the plughole is 'scary'.
- As it 'appens: A hint of one-upmanship here, e.g. "I was down
the dogs (at the dog track) yest'day, as it 'appens" (happens).
- 'Th' pronounced as 'F': As in 'Wan, Foo, Fwee, Foah' (One,
two, three, four). There is a definite sense that this is
deliberately done. A reversion to a child-like
speech-impediment.
- Oi dan't kna nuffin' abaht it: I don't know anything about
it. Said with an air of grievance, as is ...
- Oi dunno, DO I?: You should somehow be aware of my ignorance,
possibly by telepathy. This phrase is key. If you can penetrate
to its reproachful, whinging core, you will understand the
modern Englishman or woman.
- No disrespect to: I am about to criticise the following
person, but do not wish take responsibility for so doing i.e. I
AM disrespecting so-and-so.
- Sweet, or 'Sweet as' (a nut): Response to a manoeuvre
successfully accomplished, or an unexpected bonus. Often said
when you've earned something you're not entitled to e.g. you've
robbed a warehouse of two hundred cartons of Benson and Hedges
cigarettes, and got away with it. 'Sweet!'.
- Sha ap! (Shut up): I disagree with what you are saying, but
haven't the wit, patience or vocabulary to repudiate it, so
I'll tell you to 'Sha ap' instead. Repeatedly.
- I'm not 'appy (about ...): I am a Lord of Creation, hear my
wrath.
- End of (End of story): I have made a final pronouncement, no
more need be said on this subject.
About The Author: T. O' Donnell ( http://www.tigertom.com ) is
an ecommerce consultant and curmudgeon living in London, UK.
His latest project is an ebook on conservatories, available at
http://www.ttconservatories.co.uk. T. O' Donnell freeware may
be downloaded at http://www.ttfreeware.co.uk.
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